I've always had the skills
But never really understood why or how
Then I began to notice some common themes, here they are...
It might sound like complete bullshit
But a smile is more powerful than you think
In sales, they will tell you to smile while on the phone...
Why? Because the energy and confidence travels with your voice. And the energy and confidence can transfer over to the listener on the other end.
They may even start smiling themselves. But more importantly, it will most likely lift their mood, and put them in a better position to take action.
Now imagine the impact when you're in person! This is why I try to smile as much possible. Regardless of whether that's with friends, colleagues, strangers, etc. This simple act will not only lift your own mood. It will most likely lift the mood of those around you as well.
And when you are able to lift the mood of others without talking
They often feel as if you've given them something
Without asking for a single thing in return
And this builds natural trust
Try it out for yourself...
The Follow Through
This one can't be missed
You see, trust can be built over time
But over an equal period of time, trust can also be lost...
And this one, or the lack of, can either build tremendous trust, or break it. Because we all tend to tie ourselves to expectations. And when your expectations aren't met, you often feel disappointed or let down.
The thing is, expectations are typically out of your control, even when you create them yourself. But when someone else sets an expectation, but then doesn't come through, it stings. And more often than not, you will instantly lose trust in them. Again, trust is regularly bound to expectations. And if you're going to set expectations that others are counting on you to follow through on, your trust is on the line. The more times you come through, the more they trust you. The more times you don't, the more trust you lose.
It's something you must always be aware of in day to day life
Don't set expectations that you are not able to meet
You will only lose the trust of those around you
And this will damage your reputation
Making life much more difficult...
Instead, do what you say!
Two ears and one mouth
That's what the majority of humans have
But in most cases, you use your mouth equally if not more...
And this is not the best way to build trust. Especially if when you talk, it's all about yourself and what you can do/offer. This might show your competence, but it does not build trust.
The smiling and follow through I've always been pretty good with. But this one I had to learn throughout my career. In my earlier years, I wanted to talk a lot and be heard. But then I realized that most times it's much better to listen.
Why? Because listening allows other people to open up to you. And when you listen, they feel heard. It was the same thing I wanted, but instead I flipped the switch. Why not listen to them and make them feel heard, maybe then they'll tell me what they need.
It sounds basic, but this simple switch of roles can build an incredible amount of trust. When people know they can be heard, and that you'll actually listen, they open up. And when people open up, you understand how you can help them.
Just remember the two ears and one mouth expression next conversation
Doesn't matter if it's business or personal, just try talking less
And instead, listen more, and let them be heard
It will change the relationship you have
And increase their trust in you...
Trust can be built or lost
And there is no value in losing trust
But there is tremendous value in gaining trust...
This is why I shared with you three ways to gain the trust of those around you.
1) Smile often
2) Always follow through
3) Listen more than you speak
But what's the value in gaining or building trust? Well, just think about what trust means for you. Below are a couple of examples to get you thinking how important this is...
Are you going to do business with someone you don't trust? Are you going to go out for dinner and drinks with someone you don't trust? Are you going to refer a contact that you don't trust? Are you going to recommend a service that you don't trust?
The answer to all those questions should be NO. Which means you put a large value on the trust you have in others, and they most likely do the same. So, if you want them to do business with you, go out for dinner/drinks, refer clients to you, or recommend you as a service...
They sure as shit better trust you. And that has to be built and earned
And it can be done by leveraging the tools I shared with you
Because remember, trust can be lost just as fast
But it's not worth losing, it's too valuable
Instead, build it and hold on to it
It will make life easier...
Steven Arthur George aka CannaBeMe
How are you building trust with those around you? Drop a comment below...