top of page

It can take your breath away

"I feel it's always going to be a letdown. Unless you are the surprise. You own the room. And the cake is for you" - JW

And deliver feelings of complete bliss

But then punch you in the face without warning…

That’s life, and it’s how we handle and respond to the ladder

Which will define our path forward and what we’re able to accomplish

You see, most of us go through tough shit, some worse than others, but most of us do

My first one came at age 18, and I never saw it coming. On top of that, it left me asking questions….

How could this happen? Will I ever see him again? What happened? Who was there?

The call came in the morning, it was from another close friend who was in tears

He delivered the news, and at first, I didn’t want to believe it at all

There was no way, not Jason, he didn’t deserve this

Still in shock, I drove over to the scene

Yellow tape around the house

Then it all set in…

Yellow Tape

It’s not what you want to see

I can remember it like it was yesterday

Police cars, ambulances, officers, and paramedics….

I started asking them questions, but no one answered me

I was frustrated, I raised my voice, and yelled at the officers for answers

Soon after, a few other close friends arrived, and they confirmed the passing

This was devastating…Jason was one of the kindest humans I ever crossed paths with

He was over-weight, a little slow at times, but was the definition of a free spirit

And he impacted my life in more ways the one during our time as friends

Unfortunately, Jason lost his life to an opiate overdose that night

And he wasn’t a heavy user, just got caught in the wave

In the end, it could have easily been me too

I was just with them the night prior

I dodged a bullet…literally


"As I ponder the places I have come from, I sometimes forget to think about where I'm going" - JW

Jason was a great friend

Someone you could go deep on life with

He was the wise old man in our group of friends

And together, we all created some amazing memories

At concerts, events, and parties (if not throwing them ourselves)

I would not call Jason my best friend at the time, but we were close indeed

And I will never forget one night we sat together on my friends porch as the sun rose

We had just finished talking about life and our first year of life post high school

It was summer, and we didn’t see each other as often anymore

But he told me he had always believed in my ability

And that I would go on to do great things

It was one of our last conversations

But I will never ever forget it

Because I needed it…

The Guardian

When life serves you shit

You can step in it or use it as fertilizer

For me, the second option sounded a lot better…

And after the passing of my friend, instead of dwelling on it

I used that conversation of ours as motivation to execute on life

In university, and then my professional career, I always did one thing

Before a big presentation, interview, etc. I’d have the leaflet from Jason’s funeral

And would put it in my suit pocket, so that he was also there with me

Sounds crazy as I write this, but it was what felt right to me

I didn’t believe in myself at the time, and he did

And I needed the support from above

He got me through a lot though

And I still have the leaflet

But I don’t need it

Here’s why…

The Lesson

The passing of my good friend was terrible

But it didn’t mean the thought of Jason had to be sad

In fact, it meant the complete opposite and changed my life…

Who knows, maybe I would have given up or decided to quit on life

With no self-confidence, insecurities, and traumas...I didn’t have my own back

Instead, I needed to lean on my friend in the sky for the support

Read that again, my friend in the sky, it’s sounds crazy

But I lacked physical support around me

And I wasn’t willing to open up

So I kept it inside myself

And looked up…

But it wasn’t a long term solution

I needed to find support from those around me

Furthermore, I needed to believe in myself and my ability

And start doing things for myself, rather than to let down my friend

It wasn’t his life, even if he believed, it was my life, and I needed to own it

Today, I don’t need the leaflet anymore, and I’ve learned to be great without it

It doesn’t mean I forgot about Jason and what he meant to my life

It means I’ve become the man he saw inside a decade ago

One who is now confident of his abilities and skills

One who is now aware of his past issues

One who is secure in his own skin



21 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Please feel free to reach out with any questions you have or if you would like to be a guest on the CannaBeMe podcast! I am also open to collaborations and would be more than happy to chat about any projects I could help with...

bottom of page