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It can take your breath away

"I feel it's always going to be a letdown. Unless you are the surprise. You own the room. And the cake is for you" - JW

And deliver feelings of complete bliss


But then punch you in the face without warning…


That’s life, and it’s how we handle and respond to the ladder


Which will define our path forward and what we’re able to accomplish


You see, most of us go through tough shit, some worse than others, but most of us do


My first one came at age 18, and I never saw it coming. On top of that, it left me asking questions….


How could this happen? Will I ever see him again? What happened? Who was there?


The call came in the morning, it was from another close friend who was in tears


He delivered the news, and at first, I didn’t want to believe it at all


There was no way, not Jason, he didn’t deserve this


Still in shock, I drove over to the scene


Yellow tape around the house


Then it all set in…


Yellow Tape


It’s not what you want to see


I can remember it like it was yesterday


Police cars, ambulances, officers, and paramedics….


I started asking them questions, but no one answered me


I was frustrated, I raised my voice, and yelled at the officers for answers


Soon after, a few other close friends arrived, and they confirmed the passing


This was devastating…Jason was one of the kindest humans I ever crossed paths with


He was over-weight, a little slow at times, but was the definition of a free spirit


And he impacted my life in more ways the one during our time as friends


Unfortunately, Jason lost his life to an opiate overdose that night


And he wasn’t a heavy user, just got caught in the wave


In the end, it could have easily been me too


I was just with them the night prior


I dodged a bullet…literally


Wildman


"As I ponder the places I have come from, I sometimes forget to think about where I'm going" - JW

Jason was a great friend


Someone you could go deep on life with


He was the wise old man in our group of friends


And together, we all created some amazing memories


At concerts, events, and parties (if not throwing them ourselves)


I would not call Jason my best friend at the time, but we were close indeed


And I will never forget one night we sat together on my friends porch as the sun rose


We had just finished talking about life and our first year of life post high school


It was summer, and we didn’t see each other as often anymore


But he told me he had always believed in my ability


And that I would go on to do great things


It was one of our last conversations


But I will never ever forget it


Because I needed it…


The Guardian



When life serves you shit


You can step in it or use it as fertilizer


For me, the second option sounded a lot better…


And after the passing of my friend, instead of dwelling on it


I used that conversation of ours as motivation to execute on life


In university, and then my professional career, I always did one thing


Before a big presentation, interview, etc. I’d have the leaflet from Jason’s funeral


And would put it in my suit pocket, so that he was also there with me


Sounds crazy as I write this, but it was what felt right to me


I didn’t believe in myself at the time, and he did


And I needed the support from above


He got me through a lot though


And I still have the leaflet


But I don’t need it


Here’s why…


The Lesson


The passing of my good friend was terrible


But it didn’t mean the thought of Jason had to be sad


In fact, it meant the complete opposite and changed my life…


Who knows, maybe I would have given up or decided to quit on life


With no self-confidence, insecurities, and traumas...I didn’t have my own back


Instead, I needed to lean on my friend in the sky for the support


Read that again, my friend in the sky, it’s sounds crazy


But I lacked physical support around me


And I wasn’t willing to open up


So I kept it inside myself


And looked up…


But it wasn’t a long term solution


I needed to find support from those around me


Furthermore, I needed to believe in myself and my ability


And start doing things for myself, rather than to let down my friend


It wasn’t his life, even if he believed, it was my life, and I needed to own it


Today, I don’t need the leaflet anymore, and I’ve learned to be great without it


It doesn’t mean I forgot about Jason and what he meant to my life


It means I’ve become the man he saw inside a decade ago


One who is now confident of his abilities and skills


One who is now aware of his past issues


One who is secure in his own skin


One who CAN BE HIMSELF!


#cannabeme

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