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A Lifelong Battle For Most...

I know you all have them too

But some let them take control, while others don't

The idea is to build the reality you want, that's what can set you apart...

Unfortunately, I let them take control for over a decade, a decade I can't get back

And I missed a ton of opportunities because of it. Which really f***ing sucks!

There's no going back, but I couldn't let the story keep repeating

I needed to take back control and be confident once again

I was telling myself false stories, one after another

But here's the worst part about it all

I was the author and editor...

Where It All Started

Well, it's a work in progress

I'm still attempting to understand more of my past

That being said, my high school years were tough due to appearance

As I've mentioned before, I couldn't handle the acne, I let it get the best of me

This then led to other problems, and bad choices that I can not reverse

But sh*t, it really crushed me, I lost all my confidence at this time

I also started drinking with some friends to numb the pain

Because of this, I've never had a great relationship

With alcohol that is, it didn't start well for me

And I got into trouble more than once

But it also gave me confidence

A double-edged sword...

The Problem

After college, my appearance improved

But the lack of confidence remained for years

I was so unaware of my own internal mental needs

And I never took the time to talk to anyone about all this

The alcohol also stayed around through my 20s, which didn't help

I drink very rarely now, and that relationship is damn near dead

It doesn't do me any good, and never helped with anything

In fact, in the end, I lost a lot of confidence because of it

When I was younger, it was liquid inspiration for me

But as I aged, it became more a "thing to do"

I "thing to do" that I didn't want to do

On top of that, no real progression

Only my friends to drink with

I couldn't live that way...

Mindset Switch

As I mentioned in a previous letter

Finding meaningful work here in Portugal changed me

I gained back a ton of confidence, both personally and professionally...

More professional, but it carried over into my personal life as well

That being said, I still have times I don't feel so secure socially

But it's understandable, because I overthink and get lost

I distort reality, creating my own fear and discomfort

And then I don't take action when I would like to

But it's all in my head, there's no one else

And not taking action is the worst

This can end you completely

So manage the mindset


The Nitty Gritty

A good friend said

"Your thoughts are your reality"

And she is absolutely correct my friends

Whatever you want to put up there and accept

Will most likely become the reality you live in today

This is one thing you are more in control of than you think

And if you work on your mental strength (meditation, breathing, etc.)

You can learn to better manage the internal anxiety and negative thinking

I'm still only a few years into my own internal journey, but these tools do help

I also try to consciously take action quickly. Within seconds if possible

If not, you will continue to miss out on opportunities in your life

Your brain will give you another idea to contemplate

It's often not our friend and needs calmness

That's some meditation more or less

And it does wonders for me

The Lesson

Your insecurities will destroy you

That's what I have been discussing today

"Uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence."

I'm not going to continue saying it over and over, but "oneself"

That makes it clear as day, but here's a recap...

As I said, this is very much in your control. It's a mindset thing

You get to call the shots. No more complaining. It's on you

Talk proud. Stand tall. Walk strong. Show up. Be you

And follow your instinct and take quick action

It's ok if it doesn't go your way, you'll learn

And get better the next time around

This is what I'm still doing also

To move the needle a bit

One day at a time...

Having security issues? Does this help?

With Love,

Steven Arthur George aka CannaBeMe

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