A Lifelong Battle For Most...
I know you all have them too
But some let them take control, while others don't
The idea is to build the reality you want, that's what can set you apart...
Unfortunately, I let them take control for over a decade, a decade I can't get back
And I missed a ton of opportunities because of it. Which really f***ing sucks!
There's no going back, but I couldn't let the story keep repeating
I needed to take back control and be confident once again
I was telling myself false stories, one after another
But here's the worst part about it all
I was the author and editor...
Where It All Started
Well, it's a work in progress
I'm still attempting to understand more of my past
That being said, my high school years were tough due to appearance
As I've mentioned before, I couldn't handle the acne, I let it get the best of me
This then led to other problems, and bad choices that I can not reverse
But sh*t, it really crushed me, I lost all my confidence at this time
I also started drinking with some friends to numb the pain
Because of this, I've never had a great relationship
With alcohol that is, it didn't start well for me
And I got into trouble more than once
But it also gave me confidence
A double-edged sword...
The Problem
After college, my appearance improved
But the lack of confidence remained for years
I was so unaware of my own internal mental needs
And I never took the time to talk to anyone about all this
The alcohol also stayed around through my 20s, which didn't help
I drink very rarely now, and that relationship is damn near dead
It doesn't do me any good, and never helped with anything
In fact, in the end, I lost a lot of confidence because of it
When I was younger, it was liquid inspiration for me
But as I aged, it became more a "thing to do"
I "thing to do" that I didn't want to do
On top of that, no real progression
Only my friends to drink with
I couldn't live that way...
Mindset Switch
As I mentioned in a previous letter
Finding meaningful work here in Portugal changed me
I gained back a ton of confidence, both personally and professionally...
More professional, but it carried over into my personal life as well
That being said, I still have times I don't feel so secure socially
But it's understandable, because I overthink and get lost
I distort reality, creating my own fear and discomfort
And then I don't take action when I would like to
But it's all in my head, there's no one else
And not taking action is the worst
This can end you completely
So manage the mindset
Optimistically...
The Nitty Gritty
A good friend said
"Your thoughts are your reality"
And she is absolutely correct my friends
Whatever you want to put up there and accept
Will most likely become the reality you live in today
This is one thing you are more in control of than you think
And if you work on your mental strength (meditation, breathing, etc.)
You can learn to better manage the internal anxiety and negative thinking
I'm still only a few years into my own internal journey, but these tools do help
I also try to consciously take action quickly. Within seconds if possible
If not, you will continue to miss out on opportunities in your life
Your brain will give you another idea to contemplate
It's often not our friend and needs calmness
That's some meditation more or less
And it does wonders for me
The Lesson
Your insecurities will destroy you
That's what I have been discussing today
"Uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence."
I'm not going to continue saying it over and over, but "oneself"
That makes it clear as day, but here's a recap...
As I said, this is very much in your control. It's a mindset thing
You get to call the shots. No more complaining. It's on you
Talk proud. Stand tall. Walk strong. Show up. Be you
And follow your instinct and take quick action
It's ok if it doesn't go your way, you'll learn
And get better the next time around
This is what I'm still doing also
To move the needle a bit
One day at a time...
Having security issues? Does this help?
With Love,
Steven Arthur George aka CannaBeMe